I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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