I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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