once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
you made out with another girl for some wings
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
