So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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