YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
