OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
my vag is so smooth its legendary
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
