I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
