Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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