Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
