it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
