Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
