At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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