i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
