i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
