operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
A bitchslap is in order.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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