This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize