And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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