i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
