we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I love how my cats smell like pot.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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