I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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