yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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