every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize