is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Randomize
