perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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