sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
