We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
The beer is more important than you right now.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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