Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
i think im in europe. pls send help
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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