If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
