I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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