if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
