I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
