Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
