At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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