I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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