I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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