You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Randomize