I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
