Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
