I'm going to jail i love you
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
