I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
