didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I'm just crazy horny about you
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
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