Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
