Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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