Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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