You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize