dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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