We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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