when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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