it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
whose ass print is on the piano?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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