i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Randomize
