oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Just invented taco cereal.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
