Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Randomize
