he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
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