i think my mom watched the whole time
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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