if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
