Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
