I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
